Exposing Verbal Abuse

Verbal abuse is an epidemic in our society today. It’s represented as a normal way of living through music and music video’s, soap opera’s, movies and so much more. It occurs everywhere, most commonly in the home with a great deal of effort to hide it from the outside world. The consequences results in having mother’s leave their newborn babies in the restroom of fast food restaurants. Toddlers kicking, spitting and treating their teachers the way their parents treat them. Teenagers are shooting their parents and friends because of inner mental and emotional turmoil. More than 2.5 million children suffer abuse each year. The affects of verbal abuse aren’t noticeable. It’s a subtle and invisible form of abuse that causes a lifetime of destruction.

Destruction comes in many forms. It happens in simply saying that’s stupid or you’re stupid, that’s not what you said, how dumb, you don’t think, a moment of telling someone to shut up, throwing, punching, kicking things, controlling through finances, put-downs, giving orders, angry outburst, sarcasm, threatening someone in the midst of an argument, denial, even withholding, silence or gaining control through not raising your voice is abuse, the list goes on and it is enormous. According to Dr. Grace Ketterman, a Medical Doctor of the Crittenton Center in Kansas City, Missouri, she says that “the inner weaknesses that predispose (influence) people to such a vicious cycle have their taproots in the past.” This suggests that past experiences play a major part in a Verbal Abusers development. Awareness in this area will reveal the abuse throughout generations as well as within allowing the opportunity to change. It is crucial to understand that the breath of a life lives within our words. The power to destroy or build a life is a precious gift.

To help us understand this power, it is routed in this word. Verbal Abuse derives from the loss of power, the desire to be in control or the fear of losing it. The chapter on Oppression and Control in a book by Patricia Evans, shows interviews with different people involved in abuse. It explains what most people asked. Questions such as, “why would they be sarcastic or critical? Even how does abuse and control fit together? Patricia explains that ‘the abuser is seeking to feel superior and in controlâÂ?¦with the motivation of (the one being abused) to become powerless and/or would not be able to leaveâÂ?¦all the while remaining oblivious to the fact that this (abusive) behavior, over time, (will) produce the opposite effect’.”

Just as the abuser seeks to gain control, the power to regain what was lost is also available. As a mother and her new born is cut at the umbilical cord, so can the pain, the hurt, and mistrust be cut from the core, and replaced with freedom and unconditional love.

The road to freedom is simple. First remember that God Loves You. He orchestrated the universe just to get you here. Your life has a purpose! Second, know that “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18 NIV). “The Lord is the Spirit, and where the spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom” (2 Corinthians 3:17 NIV). If the Lord is close to the brokenhearted, then He is close to the abused and the abuser. If the Lord is the Spirit and that Spirit is freedom then the abused and the abuser has already been set free from the bondage of Verbal Abuse.

Renew your mind from past hurts and pains and make a decision to receive help and discover a better way of living today. Proverbs 23:7 KJV says, “For as he thinketh within his heart, so he is.” Find the courage to heal the abuse you were subject too (abused and the abuser) for yourself. If this doesn’t encourage you then do it for your family and friends as well as establish a new legacy for your children or grandchildren. You have the power now to break the curse.

To view more information and/or seek assistance in overcoming this epidemic, here is a list of organizations and resources also feel free to contact a local church for Christian Counseling Services.


National Domestic Violence Hotline

The Family Violence Prevention Fund

Prevent Child Abuse

June Hunt – Christian Counselor

Other Verbal Abuse Information:

7 Signs You’re in a Verbally Abusive Relationship

The Five Factors for a Phenomenal Family
(Create a sense of security and peace in your home)

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