How to Fix the Toilet and Impress the Ladies

For this How-To article, we will start with the easy part which is the actual fixing of the toilet. There are two things that happen to toilets all the time and lots of people don’t know how to fix them. First is the annoying running toilet. Not only does the ever flowing water slowly eat away at your utility bill, but the sound also slowly eats away at your soul. That constant dripping and flowing sound not only drives you crazy, but also makes you want to pee more, which makes you hear the noise more, and you see where I’m going.

First, you need to understand why the toilet is running. That big balloon looking thing is the key. If you lift that up, you will notice that the toilet will stop running. The water level is what pushes that balloon up to stop it from running. When you flush, you will notice a chain attached to the lever which is attached to a large stopper near the bottom of the basin. If that stopper stays open, then the water will never fill up high enough to stop the water from running. What often happens is the chain that is hooked to the stopper and the flushing lever gets caught underneath the stopper not allowing it to close all the way.

The immediate but not long term fix for this is to just flick the lever lightly a couple times after flushing, which will in theory dislodge the chain from underneath the stopper. The long term fix is to shorten the chain so that the slack will not get caught under the stopper. You can usually do this by wrapping the slack around the hook attached to the lever. This may sound obvious, but I’ve made the mistake of making the chain too short so that the stopper stays open, so don’t do that. The next very common problem with the toilet is the clog. The fix for this seems obvious, but many people don’t know how to plunge the toilet. The idea behind the plunger is that you are using suction to pull and break up whatever is clogging the toilet.

Suction will not happen if the plunger isn’t completely pressed to the bottom of the toilet over the hole. Depending on the plunger and the clog, you may need to put all your weight on it for this to happen. Also, a common misconception is that you have to pull up on the plunger quickly. This is not the case. Once you get the plunger pressed as much in the hole as you can, you just simply have to pull up on the plunger slowly. If the water goes down at all, that means you are making progress. Obviously if it flushes, you have been successful. So now we move on to the meat of this issue. How do you use these new skills to impress the ladies? This is not the easiest thing to use to impress them, but if done correctly it can be very successful.

First of all, the best way to do this is to notice that it is running, and then fix it right away. Then, somehow work in into the conversation later in the night if they don’t already notice it. Either way, you must act like it is no big deal. Once you make it known that you fixed the toilet, you move on to another topic as fast as possible so as to make it clear that you’re not trying to impress her with your ability to fix toilets even though you clearly are. If she tells you that her toilet is running, ask her if you can take a look at it.

Don’t act like you’re just naturally handy. A good line is to say that your dad taught you how to do this. Women like men who can admit where they learned something, although don’t use that line when referring to sex in anyway. A tougher subject is the clog. People, especially women, are very embarrassed by the things they produce in the toilet. So you don’t want to make a big deal out of it. If it’s clogged, she probably won’t let you go in the bathroom. For this you want to fix it before she can tell you it is clogged, and don’t tell her until she finds out herself. However, if she asks you to unclog it, make sure you have her watch because if done right it can be a fantastic display of manhood. Again, when finished, move on not making a bid deal out of it.

Start doing something else immediately but nothing too special. You want her to still be thinking about the amazing manly thing you just did, so talk about something very basic like the weather. Then wash your hands, and have lots of sex.

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