Purchasing a New Toilet – Not as Easy as You Would Think

During my lifetime, I have to say that I have not given the subject of toilets a lot of thought. Let’s face it – everyone has a toilet, and it pretty much has a single purpose. It is not a glamorous purpose, but it is definitely an essential purpose. So, unless it was acting up – not flushing, or flooding – I really never gave the toilet a lot of thought.

Then I decided to remodel my bathroom. Since I was going to have a new bathtub installed, and a new vanity, it seemed like a good idea to have a nice, shiny new toilet to complete the bathroom ensemble. I figured that this would be the easy part of the project. I wanted a white toilet. How difficult could it be to find a simple white toilet?

Well, it was harder than you would think. There are several considerations when it comes to choosing the right toilet for you. The first is color. This was easy for me – white. But it turns out that there are different types of flushing mechanisms. There are gravity toilets, dual flush toilets, and pressure-assist toilets. Gravity toilets are the most simple, and so they are the easiest to fix. This is not a small concern, as there is nothing worse than having the toilet crap out on you (pardon the pun). If you can get a plumber to show up in a reasonable amount of time, you are going to piss away (okay, I’m through with the puns now) a lot of money to fix the toilet. If it is easy to fix, there is a good chance that you can do it yourself. Score one for the gravity toilet. The gravity toilet is also generally quieter than the pressure-assist toilet. Score two for the gravity toilet. Pressure-assist toilets give the most powerful flush, which is good if you have a big family, but they are also rather noisy. If you would like to do your business without the entire world hearing about it, this is probably not the toilet to choose. Dual-flush toilets are the most economically correct as far as water usage goes, but they also keep very little water in the bowl which can lead to cleaning issues – not to mention odor issues. Nobody wants to have odor issues with their toilet. So my vote went to the white, gravity toilet.

But we weren’t done quite yet. Did I want a one-piece toilet or a two-piece toilet? A one-piece toilet was easier to clean and less prone to leaks. The two piece toilet was cheaper. I went with cheaper. Then there was the bowl size issue – round or elongated? Round took up less space, and elongated was more comfortable for those marathon sessions. Space was not an issue for me, and since I do a lot of reading on that particular ‘chair’ – I went with the elongated bowl. Phew. What a bunch of decisions!

But one more decision remained – the toilet seat. May I add, at this point, that it is ridiculous to me that toilets do not come with toilet seats. Sheesh. What is a toilet without a seat? It is just a wet butt waiting to happen. Anyhow, painted wooden toilet seats can chip, leaving brown marks that resemble – well, nobody wants brown marks on their toilet seat. There are cushioned toilet seats – I have never cared for these, something about sinking when I sit – and there are colored toilet seats, and designer toilet seats. I went with plain white plastic. The white plastic does not chip, and there is no making mistakes when you clean. If it ain’t white – it ain’t clean.

So I now have a brand new toilet. It looks pretty much like the old one. It works pretty much like the old one. Hindsight being 20/20, I think I might have been wiser to just stick with the old one and save $200. On the other hand, it is kind of nice to have something brand spanking new to sit on.

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