The Dandruff Diaries: Thank God for Neutrogena T-Gel Shampoo

Hands down, the best dandruff shampoo in the world is Neutrogena T-Gel. It’s a little embarrassing to admit that one needs a dandruff shampoo but when the results are this stunning, shit, they’re (read=me) willing to stand up on a mountain and scream it to the world. “NEUTROGENA T-GEL SHAMPOO IS THE BEST DANDRUFF SHAMPOO IN THE WORLD!!!” (Me, screaming on a mountain)

A little while back, let’s say 9 months ago, I started getting dandruffâÂ?¦really bad dandruff. I would sit and scratch my noggin and watch as my head gave a ticker tape parade to the city of my hand (pretty gross stuff, right). I didn’t know why this was happening. I was never really into “using shampoo”, maybe now I was paying the price. I had gone almost 24 years without so much as a dandruff flake and then all of sudden I had a scalp that was mass producing the stuff like it was going out of style. I tried everything.

Being the cheap bastard that I am, I bought some K-Mart no name brand, a Head and Shoulders rip-off. That stuff did absolutely nothing except make my already afro-like hair poof out a little more. Next up was Selsun Blue, which should really be called Smells Like Poo. My God did that shit stink. It definitely helped my dandruff problem, but it would leave my head and hands smelling like a bowl of mayonnaise left out in the sun. In other words, it was unusable. Sadly, I was all set to finish off the rest of my days with a Leper’s scalp (whatever, I wasn’t going to smell like rotten mayo).

I figured all dandruff shampoos (the hardcore ones) had the Smells Like Poo scent and the consistency of honey mixed with Krazy Glue, but I was wrong. I thought I’d take one more shot at fixing my unsightly dandruff problem so I picked up a bottle of Neutrogena T-Gel. Neutrogena T-Gel didn’t look like the other brands, it was far classier. Plus, it was brown so it looked more medicinal and less like a stinky hair product. When I first massaged the Neutrogena T-Gel into the deep recesses of my scalp, I could feel it working immediately.

Neutrogena T-Gel produces a tingle, a tingle that says, “don’t worry my son, your dandruff troubles will soon be over.” T-Gel doesn’t smell like roses, but its scent lacks the staying power of its less than worthy competitor(s). The only downside was that it left my hair feeling kind of like a cheese grater (I now appreciate conditioner as well). Though, that still beat the awful looks and lack of self esteem that life without Neutrogena T-Gel brought me.

One of the best things about Neutrogena T-Gel is that I only have to wash my hair twice a week. And before everyone gets all grossed out, let me explain something about my hair. I have an extremely coarse, Italian head of hair and for this I blame my mother. It was alright for a while; I just rarely washed my hair. It looked a little oily but it was better than the alternative: a slightly curly afro that resembled NBC film critic Gene Shalit.

So twice a week on the days I use Neutrogena T-Gel, I look like Gene Shalit. I can live with that.

Thanks again, Neutrogena T-Gel; give my regards to the Neutrogena girls.

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