Haven’t published on Associated Content yet? What the hell are you waiting for? Okay, okay, maybe you still need some convincing. Well, how can I describe the experience of publishing content with AC? Publishing on Associated Content is a lot like ridding the world of poverty and hunger. It’s also a lot like hitting a walk-off home run in the seventh game of the World Series. So, if you don’t think you’ll ever rid the world of poverty and hunger or accomplish hitting that walk-off homerun in the seventh game of the World Series, you should definitely try publishing on Associated Content. Here are my top ten reasons for publishing on Associated Content.
1. The closest thing you have to a boss at Associated Content is your Content Manager. And Associated Content’s Content Managers are great! (Insert hearts here). And, unlike most bosses, you don’t have to pucker up and kiss their behinds to score higher bids for your articles. The Content Managers are just great folks. I mean really, really wonderful people. I adore them, especially the Content Manager for AC’s Humor section.
2. You can dress however you’d like to do your work, researching and writing your articles for Associated Content. Whatever mood strikes you is just fine. Right now, since I’m writing a Humor piece, I’m dressed in a clown suit with full face paint, red nose, and over-sized shoes.
3. Associated Content’s Content Managers know that writing articles is hard work, and they are sympathetic to your personal situation. For instance, if you have eight starving children, an invalid father, and tens of thousands of dollars of unpaid gambling debts owed to a large fellow named Frankie Bangs, I’m sure they’d offer you higher bids. Did I mention that I, in fact, have eight starving children, an invalid father, and tens of thousands of dollars of unpaid gambling debts owed to a large fellow named Frankie Bangs?
4. Carpal Tunnel Syndrome is a myth. Besides, who’s laughing while me and my two lobster claw hands are carrying all the money I make from Associated Content all the way to the bank? That’s right. Noooo one.
5. Do a Google search for “Best Burgers in Waikiki,” and see who’s Number One, Numero Uno. I’ll give you a hint, he’s dressed in a clown suit and has eight starving children at home. That’s right, it’s me: Jack Oceano. In your face, eight grade teacher Mrs. Henderson! I did amount to something after all.
6. Stealing to feed your eight starving children, house and care for your invalid father, and pay your gambling debts to Frankie Bangs is WRONG.
7. That pizza place in Hoboken that refused to serve you just because you were a little too drunk and you were dancing on tables and mooning the other customers – you can get the owner back by leaving his pizza parlor off your list of the Best Pizza in Hoboken on Associated Content. Take that, Luigi!
8. That summer house you always wanted so badly, it’s only 50,000 articles away. Make that 49,999 in about eight more minutes, as long as I can come up with two more reasons to publish on Associated Content.
9. Finally, you can drink on the job!
10. Associated Content’s Content Managers are really great people. I can’t say enough good things about them, especially the Content Manager of the Humor section. What a sense of humor! So generous, and so good at spotting real talent. I can’t thank the Content Managers enough. All I can do is put down my beer, wheel my invalid father out of the room, remove my clown nose and salute them!