Why Hezbollah is Different from Al Qaeda

I have spoken with a number of people lately who are frustrated with Israel for its attacks in Lebanon. Indeed, Condi Rice is traipsing all over the globe in an effort to negotiate a ceasefire, and even Tony Blair stopped by the Whitehouse to see if he and Crazy King George (a.k.a. the “president”) could come up with something that makes sense over there. It’s a big deal. If you don’t know anything about it, go back to sleep. It will still be an issue when you wake up. I promise.

It’s important to understand that while Hezbollah controls large portions of Lebanon, it is not part of the Lebanese government. There have been Hezbollah officials in government posts, but Hezbollah exists outside of government. When they wage war with Israel, they do so of their own auspices and without the backing of the Lebanese government. To be true, there are governments such as Syria and Lebanon who are in favor of the agenda of Hezbollah, but that doesn’t make Hezbollah a nation state. Essentially, Hezbollah attacking Israel is the absurd equivalent of The Southern Baptists acquiring weaponry and attacking China.

So that prompts two questions, the first being, “how does Hezbollah differ from Al Qaeda?” The second question is, of course, “Why does the west care about a ceasefire?”

The first question is easy to answer. How does Hezbollah differ from Al Qaeda? First and foremost, most Hezbollah members live in houses rather than caves. Secondly, where nation states are afraid to openly endorse Al Qaeda for fear of reprisal from the United States, Lebanon has openly played host to Hezbollah. Furthermore, Syria and Iran, both having benefited from Hezbollah, endorse Hezbollah and its agenda wholeheartedly. The last way in which Hezbollah is different from Hezbollah is the single most important variable. Hezbollah has not targeted U.S. Citizens. Al Qaeda has. That limits our interest in the issue tremendously, allowing our government to plausibly miss the forest for the trees.

The answer to the second question, regarding the significance of a ceasefire, wherein the west is concerned is the one that will likely piss some readers off, in effect, making all of the words in this article worth putting together.

The main reason that the west cares about a ceasefire between Hezbollah and Israel, despite all crazy talk about Syria and Iran getting involved, thereby forcing The U.S. to jump in, prompting China and Russia to join the fray, can be summed up in one word: Armageddon. That’s right folks. The radical Christian community sees this fighting as the fulfillment of end times prophesy. They, of course miss the irony of trying to prevent the apocalypse when they hold so fast to the idea that the end of the world means they will be raptured into heaven, a supposedly wonderful place. There is a small area of land not much bigger than my neighborhood, wherein sits the plains of Megiddo. In ancient days, it was the central spot of the trade routes and the central pass through for various invading armies. It was said in ancient times, quite rightly, that “he who controlled Megiddo controlled a thousand cities.

Megiddo is where we get the term “Har-mageddon”, or Armageddon, a place where the book of Revelation says the last battle of mankind will be fought, the aftermath of which will bring Christ in all of his Glory, and the end of the world. Fundamentalist Christians never take into account the diminutive size of the region, or the fact that we could scarcely fit 10% of our fighting force on those plains. They don’t take into account the absurdity of a final battle between good and evil in a universe created from the words of the creator. (In my opinion, all the creator has to do to end the world is say the word. He/ She can’t POSSIBLY benefit from my weaponry) They don’t take these things into account because *drumroll please* ‘The Bible Says it, They believe it, and that settles it”. Politicians have always catered to the religious fanatics, because in many cases, the people making the decisions are among the most religious.

That, my friends is why the normally war hungry leaders in the United States Government are trying to negotiate a ceasefire between Israel and a terrorist organization, rather than supporting the total annihilation of said organization. So there you have it, all you really need to know about why Hezbollah and Al Qaeda are different. Hey I never said you were going to LIKE the answers. God I hate religion!

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