Billy Joel: The Greatest Solo Artist of All Time Vol. 1
Who else has been a classicaly trained pianist turned golden gloves boxer turned prog-metal organist turned lounge-style crooner turned internationally known pop superstar turned retired boozed up house smasher with a 22 year old fox of a wife who doesn’t need to write another song as long as he’s alive because he’s just that cool? The answer is Billy Joel.
It’s been nearly 12 years since BJ has put out a rock tune and he’s all the wiser for it. The amount of shitty music that has come out in that time is mindboggling. Besides putting a bullet in your brain or filling your stomach with a lethal dose of drugs or booze there really isn’t much rock stars can do during their older years. They certainly shouldn’t be putting out music (See Pete Townsend, The Rolling Stones, Ric Ocasek, Bruce Springsteen, etc).
There are exceptions to this rule, but not many. Every once in a whole an elder statesman will release a few good songs or even a good album, but this does not make up for the wealth of shit that they seem to pump out like clockwork. Neil Young is as close to this exception as any, but he puts out way too much shit to even qualify (See the Law of Averages).
But Billy Joel just quit. He just walked away and married beautiful Katie Lee, started drinking heavily and randomly driving into houses on Long Island. Apparently, he has finally sobered up now and the only concern any Joelheads should have is that this new clarity could lead to new awful recovery tunes (See Metallica’s “Some Kind of Monster”).
I’m half-lying. If Billy decided to sit down and write some new songs I’d be the first in line to buy it. But I’d also be the first to condemn it when it sucked.
(THIS WAS THE FIRST VOLUME OF A 5 VOLUME SERIES ABOUT BILLY JOEL, STAY TUNED FOR VOLUME II: BLOWING UP THE BRIDGE TO LET THE RIVER FLOW, COMING SOON)