A Glimpse into the Mind of an Abadoned Child

Stupid tears. Stupid mom. Stupid teacher. He wasn’t stupid. Just because he forgot what he was doing all the time didn’t mean he was stupid. I’ll just leave, that’s what I’ll do. If I leave here I can’t go to school, now can I? That would serve them right.

Stupid pillow. Isn’t soft enough no matter how many times I hit it. Why can’t I just remember? Why? Does God hate me? Maybe I am stupid. When was his mom coming back? He didn’t mean to forget all the time. I just can’t focus on what the teacher’s saying. Didn’t they understand his mom was talking to him inside his head? Reminding him she’d be home soon. He had to listen for her very carefully, that was why he didn’t hear the teacher enough. What was soon? How long could it be before soon was over?

This stupid bed. The springs hurt my back. I’m thirsty. I wonder if anyone will hear me if I get up and get some water. I don’t want to be grounded tomorrow too. Why? Why? Why was he here? This was a place for kids whose parents didn’t want them anymore. He didn’t need to be here. His mom wanted him. She was coming back soon she said.
He would just have to do better in school tomorrow. If he did better. If he wasn’t stupid.If his mom was proud of him, she would come take him out of this place. She would come take him home. He knew she would.

I miss you. Can you hear me mom? I’m tired of being here. I want to come home. He didn’t think he was stupid before. Before his mom left. Was he? Was he stupid then? Was that why she left him and he was stuck in this place? Mrs. Marks is nice though. I shouldn’t have said she was stupid. It just made so mad when those stupid kids laughed and she saw me crying. I should be nice to her. She tries so hard. Doesn’t she know I don’t have anything to smile about anymore? Maybe Mrs. Marks would take me home with her? It would have to be better than this stinking hole.

That’s what he would do. Tomorrow he would be so good Mrs. Marks would take him home with her. It wouldn’t be the same as his mom since Mrs. Marks was just his social worker, but he didn’t think his mom was ever coming back, really. ‘Soon’ was too long away.

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