Five Tips for the Art of Regifting

The holidays are a financially stressful time. Wherever you turn, people expect you to pay for something – gifts, donations, parties, you name it. After a while, it gets to be a bit much. Luckily, God equipped man with a valuable tool for maintaining monetary stability while making it through the holidays. That tool is, of course, the art of regifting – a process wherein you give away gifts that were given to you. Regifting is a wonderful way to get rid of a lot of the junk draining space from your over-packed linen closet. The only thing is, it’s an art that, to this day, is largely looked down upon. Successful regifting therefore takes cunning wit, a touch of grace, and guile. Here are some rules for employing this holiday survival skill without earning the ire of those you hold dear.

Rule No. 1: Make sure the gift you’re regifting looks new. In fact, make sure it IS new. Regifting is not the same thing as giving away the stuff you’re tired of. A blender with crusted bits of food stuck to it is not an appropriate Christmas gift. If you want to give it away, give it away. That’s fine. But if it’s used, don’t try to pass it off as new. The idea of regifting is to trick your loved ones into thinking you put thought into their present. A regifted gift should be in its original, unopened package. If you happen to buy something for someone that’s used, make sure you tell them, so as not be accused of wrongful regifting – a charge which has no doubt destroyed better men than you.

Rule No. 2: Don’t regift to the original gift giver. This should go without saying, but you’d be surprised how many times this has happened before. We all remember the scene in Old School where Will Ferrell attempts to give Luke Wilson a bread maker, only to learn it’s the same one Luke Wilson gave Will Ferrell for his wedding. Always keep track of the unopened gifts you’ve got stored in your house somewhere. Know who these gifts came from. Know the occasion you got them. Keep a log if you have to. I know it sounds complicated, but it’s a simple matter of economics here. Would you rather go out and buy new gifts for people, or would you rather take two minutes to update your gift records every time you get a useless gift? That’s what I thought.

Rule No. 3: Regifting means responsibility. There’s another famous scene in Old School where Will Ferrell attempts to give away the bread maker to a boy at a birthday party. As if regifting to the original gift giver wasn’t bad enough, now he’s giving the bread maker to someone for whom it is clearly inappropriate. What gall. If you’re going to regift something, put a little thought into it. An ugly pair of earrings should go to a woman with bad taste, not your teenaged brother. Think about it. Another mistake that Will Ferrell made was regifting within the same social circle. This should be avoided at all costs. If your aunt gave you pink bunny slippers, regift them to one of your friends, not to your uncle, your cousin, or anyone else you’re related to. Likewise, if one of your friends gives you a thoroughly useless clock-radio-toaster-oven-contraption, don’t give it to another one of your friends. Give it to one of your family members – like your aunt, for instance. You run certain risks when you’re a regifter. Learn to eliminate those risks.

Rule No. 4: Understand that your reputation is on the line here. If you give somebody one of those football helmets with beer can holders, you’re not just giving them one of those football helmets with beer can holders – you’re giving them a little part of you. Your name and face will be linked with that helmet with beer can holders for as long as your gift recipient keeps it. Is this is the kind of gift you would like to be associated with? How about pink bunny slippers? A useless clock-radio-toaster-oven-contraption? Ask these kinds of questions before giving a gift away. Maybe you don’t ultimately care what people think of your gift-giving skills. That’s fine. It’s a perfectly valid mindset. But take it into consideration. You’ve worked hard to get where you’re at in life. Don’t blow it by wrapping your cat in a box like that dingbat in Christmas Vacation.

Rule No. 5: When all else fails, there’s always charity. Or eBay. We’ve all been given gifts that we couldn’t possibly use, that we couldn’t possibly give away. In these situations, it’s best not to push it. Charity organizations and online auction sites are a great way to get rid of anything you don’t want or don’t need.

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