Global Warming

As I crested a hill on Vermont’s long, winding, cow-laden route 22A, I saw the last thing I would expect. Now, I should tell you that I’ve driven this road a myriad of times before and seen a myriad of unexpected things. I’ve seen trailers painted like cows. I’ve seen camels holding up traffic. I’ve even seen a Volkswagon Something-or-Another crashing through bales of hay. All of that considered, I hope you can comprehend the shock value that a massive “Stop Global Warming” banner, followed by large mass of Vermonters can have on you. The whole spectacle put me in mind of a giant, ecologically minded centipede. I later learned that that centipede was sponsored by none other than Greenpeace. It was part of a project called Vermont Hot Seat to turn people’s attention towards Global Warming. The creature would march a five day journey all the way from Ripton to Burlington, with a few stops for various speeches and community programs.
My car passed along the length of the beast and I leaned out the window to take a few pictures. A few individuals saw me and put on show for the camera. I was greeted with smiles and waves from every type of typical protestor ranging for the old, beared Willy Nelson look-alikes to the Indian Medicine Men. Only a couple of them actually carried signs and, honestly, only one of those signs really caught my attention. The sign was a bright green sheet that said, simpley, “START GLOBAL COOLING.” Or maybe it was the guy behind the sign that actually did the attention catching. He paused and smiled when I took his picture. This man embodies Global Cooling.
I only wish that I had had an opportunity to ask him how he would define Global Cooling. Would he apply it strictly to the carbon pollution issue? I prefer to think that he meant something else, something more personal. And until he calls me and tells me exactly what he meant, I will interpret his sign however I want. I choose to interpret it as follows: “You guys all need to relax.” I sincerely hope that that’s what he meant, just to spite everyone else in the group. He was walking alone, after all. Maybe he was the outcast of the protestors for being too much of a hippy. If that’s the case, they commited major political suicide. Who would you rather listen to: An angry soccer mom waving a “Stop Poisoning Our Babies!” banner or an old guy in a lawn chair who offers you a beer and a seat? That woman is frightening. That old guy is cool. Chew on that.
Global Cooling man is deffinately on to something. If we made a conscious effort to think more and yell less, we made actually solve some problems. Or just be happier people, which is a problem all to itself. March on, you crazy hippy.

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