Just Take the Day Off

My worst enemy is that aloud mouth alarm that jolts me out of bed every day. There I was in my cozy bed, snuggled up to my sweetheart and dreaming of the most amazing things. When all of a sudden BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! Oh no its Monday and a sickening feeling of dread sweeps over me. Here we go again, the start of another work week.

I climb out from under my soft warm blanket, turn on the lamp and give my alarm a good glare to let it know I’m not happy. I consider opening the window and throwing it out. I would enjoy seeing it smash in to bits of plastic pieces on the ground below. But then I realize that I would have to replace it with another and that could cost me about 10 bucks which means I would be spending an hour at work just to replace my enemy with a new one.

I stumble over to the closet and grab my uniform. Then I see that I don’t have any clean socks. Now I have to run down to the basement and grab a pair out of the dryer. I curse myself for not doing this the night before but I suck it up and start for the stairs. On my way there I stub my toe on my boyfriends work boots that he left lay in the middle of the floor. Now here I am at 6 AM I’m hopping around the living room in my nightgown holding my foot and whimpering little cries of pain.

I curse the boots, the alarm and those darn socks. I turn on the coffee pot and start to head for the shower. I got the water at the perfect temperature and I’m undressed ready to get in and then I see that there are no clean towels. Now I’m very upset and I decide that I’m going to rewire the house so I can move the dryer upstairs. I throw my night gown on and head back down stairs for a towel.

OK now I’m good to go. I have my coffee, I’m showered and dressed. Now I can start for work. Wait where are my keys? Think think think where did I have them last? Oh, I put them on the counter when I got back from the store yesterday. I walk to the counter and they are not there! I look at the clock and I should have left for work 10 minutes ago. Panic sets in! Oh my goodness where are my keys. I dump my purse on the table. Not there. I dig threw my dirty jeans I wore the night before. Not there either. I look at the clock. I’m now running 20 minutes late. I could have sworn only a minute has passed since I looked at it last.

I scream JOE! Running into the bedroom to find him sitting in bed giving me a dirty look. “What?” He says with a cocky attitude and a glare. “Where are my keys? I’m late for work! Did you have them?” Now instead of an answer I get attitude and questions. “What time is it? Why didn’t you get up earlier to make sure you had time for this?” I strike back “I don’t have time to fight with you! Where are they?” He points to his pants he had on yesterday. Crumpled up in a pile next to the hamper. I run and grab my keys out of the pocket. I turn around and give him a quick kiss. “love ya! Bye!” “love ya too.” He says sleepily as he pulls the covers back over his head. I think about how I’m going to be evil and do this to him when I have vacation.

I run outside jump into my freezing car start it up and get half way out of the drive when I realize I left my purse and all its contents dumped all over the kitchen table. I look at my watch. I have 10 minutes until I need to be at work. It will take me 15 to get there. No matter what I do I will be late. I pull back into the drive. Turn off the car. Sit there thinking about what a bad morning it has been and then I come to a decision. Nervously I pull out my cell phone and dial work. I got the answering machine so my boss isn’t there yet. “Hi. This is employee number 223754 reporting off work thank you.”

I walk back into the bedroom where Joe remains sleeping. I make sure the alarms are turned off and the phone is unplugged. I put on a nice clean pair of PJ’s and climb back into bed. As I put my arms around Joe he says “What are you doing home?” I said “I’m sick.” He sat up in bed obviously concerned and said “Are you OK? Can I do anything for you?” I smiled at him and said “Hun, the only thing I’m sick of is work. I just need an extra day off. But there is one thing you can do for me.” he responds “Whats that Hun?” I poke him in the chest and playfully yell “Put your boots away from now on!”

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