“Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes” C.G. Jung
Constantly worrying about what other people think of you can manifest in a number of negative ways, including misunderstandings in relationships and even low self-esteem. If we spent our time focused on self-improvement, as opposed to what others were thinking of us, we would be better off. Not only is it hard to change, but it is difficult to recognize change in others. Often our view of others becomes imprinted in our brains, and we won’t allow ourselves to see them any other way.
Easier said than done, you might be saying to yourself right now. “I know I shouldn’t care what other people think of me, but I can’t help it!” Often, our preoccupation with what others think of us is rooted in narcissism (ego) and insecurity. Tackle these two demons, and you will soon not even notice what others think of you, let alone be affected by it. Here are my tips for learning how to detach yourself from the fear of what other people think about you:
- 1. The only person you can control is yourself. No matter how much you let these worries occupy your thoughts, you may never change anyone’s mind about you. If their views of you are based in past behaviors, all you can do is continue to exhibit the new and improved you. Don’t spend your time or energy trying to convince anyone that you’ve changed.
- 2. Remain calm. Be peaceful. Don’t get angry or defensive, and apologize when needed. Sometimes people project things onto you that aren’t true, and accuse you of things that aren’t accurate. It’s life; blow it off. It’s easier to get your point across from a place of forgiveness and quiet self-assuredness.
- 3. Turn your attention inward, not outward. Work on yourself, on being a better person, on improving your weaknesses, and maximizing your strengths. When we achieve goals and are proud of ourselves and our accomplishments, we radiate happiness that others can’t help but notice.
- 4. Give people time to recognize how you’ve changed. Be patient and have faith in a positive outcome. People are creatures of habit. Often when people are stuck in their own ways, they are unable to see change in others.
Dwell in your own happiness instead of being dependent on others to provide it for you. When you truly believe in your own worth, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.