Cartoon Network: Don’t Assume It’s as Child-Friendly as Nickelodeon

Cartoon Network appears to be having an identity crisis. The network can’t seem to decide which demographic age group it will serve best. Oddly scheduled programming and suggestive material on several of its shows often cause parents to dive for the remote to change the channel back to Nickelodeon until the racier, naughtier shows are over. Unfortunately, Cartoon Network schedules and re-runs many of their adult-themed cartoon throughout the day, with no regard to when younger viewers may be watching. If your cable package doesn’t currently include Cartoon Network, and if you are a parent, consider this a primer.

As a parent of three children under the age of 12, I am at a distinct disadvantage when I want to watch any non-animated shows offered by my basic cable ever since my cable company added Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon to my package. Cartoon Network runs non-stop cartoons 24 hours a day. At least when my kids’ favorite shows are over on Nickelodeon and it’s time for their “Teen Nick” live action shows like “The Amanda Show,” “Unfabulous,” or “Zoe 101,” I get a welcome reprieve. If I grab the remote first, I can change the channel to the news, or “Angel” reruns on TBS.

But once the channel is keyed in for Cartoon Network, it’s a losing battle. The frequent double episodes back to back of my children’s favorites (or even the ones that they only enjoy marginally) keep them glued to the set.

None of the shows on Cartoon Network are educational. They are solely created for mindless entertainment.

Even the commercial breaks don’t give you a break. Each commercial break on CN hawks merchandise sure to further rot children’s minds or their teeth. There are more Cookie Crisp, Eggo Waffle and Pop Tarts ads than you can shake a stick at on CN. Cartoon Network also seems to think every household in America must own a Game Boy, Game Cube, or Xbox console, or if they don’t, that they should. By contrast, Nickelodeon features programs like “Dora the Explorer,” “Little Bill,” and “Lazytown” on their “Nick Jr.” lineup that usually feature preschool-preparatory material, encouragement to exercise, and a moral to the stories. Nickelodeon will pepper parents to death with Pampers and Johnson and Johnson ads or music CDS like “Worship Jams” and the Disney movie soundtrack. At least these ads cater to the parents, and Nickelodeon’s sponsors labor under the assumption that parents are watching these shows with their children.

One recent offender on CN’s daytime lineup is “The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy.” There is no way to quantify this show. The humor is crass and dark, and the dialogue relies heavily on pop culture references that only the children’s parents could identify with. The show’s premise? Two children living in the appropriately named town of Endsville meet the Grim Reaper and challenge him to a game, which he subsequently loses. Mandy, the strangely calculating, clever and EVIL child, pronounces “Grim” their eternal friend and slave. Billy serves as a foil to Mandy’s nasty demeanor, providing comic relief with frequent explosions of flatulence, malapropisms, and constant babbling and shrieking. What parent doesn’t want their kid to watch a show like that?

This particular show is very macabre and has the kind of cavalier violence and dismemberment reminiscent of the old “Tom and Jerry” shows. CN airs it on Saturday mornings and on weeknights, right at dinner time. Initially the animation looks innocent enough; the characters are blobby and heavily inked. But if you look closer, many of the characters have pronounced, visible nipples. And going back to the bizarre pop culture references, in one scene Grim arm wrestles at Billy’s house against the neighborhood, Spurg. During the course of the wrestling match, Grim turns his hat backwards and says “I flip my hat around, mon, and it’s a switch, mon, a SWITCH!” Billy runs into the living room and demands “Hey! Are you guys playing “Over the Top” without me?!” Not only does the scene parody an old movie, it parodies an obscure one whose original fans are in about their thirties now.

Occasionally CN airs their shows for an older audience at more appropriate times, like “Yu Yu Hakusho,” “Full Metal Alchemist,” and “Justice League Unlimited.” Most of these come on after 8PM. Several anime shows (the aforementioned “Alchemist” and “Hakusho”, as well as “Gundam Seed” and “Dragon Ball Zee”) that could never find a home on prime time networks reside on CN, mainly due to their violent content. Some of the shows transplanted from Fox or WB, such as “Yu-gi-Oh!” and “Pokemon” are relatively tame and repeated frequently throughout the day. “Justice League Unlimited” is one of the most adult offerings from Warner Bros./DC Comics that is shown on this network; “Teen Titans” and “The Batman” tend to avoid the mature and slightly sexual themes and suggestively drawn heroines.

There are only a handful of shows on Cartoon Network that I find unobjectionable enough to allow my kids to watch them in peace, without encouraging them to change to something else:

Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends: This show is excellent and very child-friendly. It is high on sight gags and puns and low on potty humor, has likable characters and quotable dialogue. The premise of a foster home for imaginary friends that children have outgrown and abandoned is charming and fun, and kids that have made up a friend themselves can relate.

Kids Next Door: This show pokes fun at adults, granted, since they are considered the Kids Next Door’s archnemeses. But at least the parents never come across as stupid and uninformed. Just evil. There is a lot of playground humor and universally accepted truths, such as how gross school lunches are, or how adults seemingly can’t live without their coffee.

Yu-Gi-Oh: While the premise of the show is bafflingÃ?¯Ã?¿Ã?½- a private school-educated boy and his teenage friends traveling around the country playing Duel Monsters while eluding mystical enemies that believe Yugi is an ancient pharaoh – the prevailing theme is that friendship can conquer all. And it usually does in each episode.

Teen Titans: The show is inspired by the more mature DC comic book title, but the writing is hip and age-appropriate for school-aged kids. The animation style is silly and features hysterical facial expressions and gestures. Robin, Batman’s previous sidekick, finally gets top billing as the leader of his own group, and it’s well-deserved. The pace of the story is fast and engaging. DC has also released a newer comic based on the cartoon itself, which both of my sons enjoy.

Static Shock: This cartoon still airs on the WB but found syndication on this network. “Static” is a diverse show with a positive hero, Virgil, who’s being raised alongside his sister Sharon by his widowed father. Familiar-sounding celebrities voice many of the characters, such as Danny Cooksey of “Diff’rent Strokes” and Kadeem Hardison from “A Different World.” The show has a strong anti-gang theme and encourages respect for authority.

If all of Cartoon Network’s shows were more like these, it would be easier to digest.

Nickelodeon has lately been trying to follow the Cartoon Network format a bit with some of its shows. “My Life as a Teenage Robot” seems like a direct knockoff of CN’s “Power Puff Girls.” Nick also introduced its own anime show, “Avatar: The Last Airbender.” “Teenage Robot” is actually relatively cute, since it isn’t merely about Jenny, aka XJ-9, the robot of the title, fighting the bad guys. Her character has a respectful relationship with her “mother” who created her and she wants to fit in with her high school peers. “Power Puff Girls” is all flash and little plot, and like many cartoons of its ilk, treats adults like idiots. Their “father,” Professor Utonium, never seems to have a clue and can’t seem to control or discipline his creations (“daughters”). The stop-action, staccato style of animation is hard on the eyes. “Avatar” is an interesting show that doesn’t follow the “dueling monster” theme of “Pokemon,” Duelmasters,” or “Yu-Gi-Oh!” What a refreshing change. It also isn’t a direct pitch for those ridiculous collector cards.

Nickelodeon does have some stinkers, let’s be honest. Lately the channel has become a repository for child actors that are riding their famous family members’ coattails. I can’t sit through an entire episode of “Zoe 101” because Jamie Lynn Spears can’t act her way out of a paper bag. “Romeo” seems to have something to offend everybody; adult characters are frequently disrespected and circumvented, and Little Romeo is only a marginally talented actor/rapper. Therefore a whole show about his character’s goal of becoming a famous rapper is tedious. And “Unfabulous” deserves its title; Emma Roberts is as cute as her aunt Julia but can’t carry a note in a bucket. Every episode features her singing slightly off-key and banging away on her acoustic guitar to console herself when something goes wrong at school.

The main nice thing about Nickelodeon, though, is that at least they know who their audience is. Nick Jr. shows air between 7AM and noon and are geared toward kids in preschool or who have not started school yet. After about 2PM, the sillier action shows like “Spongebob Squarepants” and “Rugrats” come on until about dinnertime. Then the “Teen Nick” programming begins and lasts until about bedtime. By about 9PM, Nick wisely shows oldies but goodies such as “Cosby” and “Full House” reruns. They know that parents need to unwind, and that these shows are nostalgic.

Nickelodeon has some brief segments between their regularly scheduled programming aired at their studio in Orlando, FL where kids in the audience can compete for prizes. The “Slime Time Live Challenge” is good clean fun, so to speak, and no one who competes walks away emptyhanded (or unspattered). Cartoon Network, on the other hand, has a segment called “Fridays” that features bizarre puppets, corny jokes, and older kids dancing to pop music in the background. They seem less like audience members and more like “extras.” It airs on Friday night (natch) and seems to serve no purpose except to announce the night’s cartoon lineup.

The most important thing to remember about Cartoon Network is that it is ALL cartoons, nonstop. Cartoons these days vary in quality, and a network like that can never guarantee that every animated show that it has to offer will be a winner. They should, however, arrange all of their shows in the timeslots where they belong.

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