Having Problems with Mexican Immigration? Blow it Up. Blow MEXICO Up

I’ve been Thinking about blowing Mexico up for years, but now all these illegal immigrants actually causing problems in America have carved my passions to a double edge. Before, I just thought it would be cool to blow it up; Shit, I’m an American. Our nations holiday is the fourth of July for Christ’s sake, but now I have a reason -and a beer. I’m determined. I’m ‘pist’ because the fellow firemen in my stations have been cheated by an illegal immigrant Satan named Miguel.

I remember the first day he came in to be a part of the Naplate Fire Department. He was chattering in accents I couldn’t understand, then began cursing at everyone in the place in his devil language itself, espaÃ?±ol. “usted fags que lo toman en el asno!!”. -What does that mean? Hell if I know, but it will be tattooed in my scorned earlobes until I understand it and his kind.

He was upset because we refused to hire him due to strict policies on green cards. He didn’t have one, furthermore he was known for this around our village. He brags to everyone about it. Ever since we began getting more and more Mexicana community he has been making a name for himself as a “rebellious gamberro”. He stormed out of there yelling and giving all of my men obscene gestures with the tips of his middle and index fingers pressed against the corners of his mouth, the sign of the tongue. Jim Steadman, my right hand man and longtime friend, began crying because of all the aggressive foreign tongue and was escorted home to his wife; he’s autistic. It was then that I was positive of my hate for Mexico and the illegal scum to jump over its borders.

GOOD GOD THOUGH, don’t get me wrong. I respect the Mexican culture and ethnicity and all that, taco’s and Doritos and piÃ?±atas. Well, I don’t know about the taco’s and piÃ?±atas so much, but the Doritos? definitely, hands down, the best. I mean, like, I haven’t actually had them, but my wife? She buys’em all the time. And the kids? They eat those things all day long. I’ll have to try those.

Basically this is the deal: Miguel has done many terrible things that really don’t have a place in this article. He’s been mad about not getting hired and has been taking it out on us personally, from yelling at us, to setting ‘home alone’ traps for us, all the way around to dressing up in his own fire fighting attire and just showing up at fires. I don’t even want to think about how he knows where and when these fires will strike. Alls I wanna do, AS A JOKE, is send him back to his country. Back to his home is where I want him to go, happy and peacefully strapped with as much C4 possible. Now obviously this will not blow up the entire country, but it’s a good start A.K.A. a Joke, a two-parter.

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