The Problem with Self Help Books

Being of the unoriginal opinion that no two humans are the same, I find most self-help books to be an insult to the race as well as contributors to the dumbing down of society.

In my traditionalist view, it is far better to figure things out on your own, or with the help of people who know you and are familiar with your mindset, than to rely on the advice of a talk show host who uses large font in order to get the 200 page requisite.

I am sure that many of the Self-Help Book (hereinafter referred to as SHB) authors are qualified and experienced individuals: doctors, CEO’s, super-moms and bogus PHD’s such as John Gray. This does not detract from the fact that what has worked for Barbara will not necessarily work for Miranda. The women might be stuck in the same funk, but who is to say they should climb out of it the same way?

My diatribe is not directed towards manuals such as Word for Dummies. There is only One True Way to locate the ‘File’ drop box and if you’re stupid enough to need a manual for that, go ahead and knock yourself out.

My beef is with books like the guides to Creative Writing. The more books you read about writing, the more formulaic your own writing becomes. To be sure, grammar and style must account for something (I’m sure you can tell I have a long way to go), but creativity is something you are born with.

Or take books on Positive Thinking. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that many people have low self esteem. After all, our mothers have only been saying it since the beginning of times, you klutz. These are things we used to figure our for ourselves, until people with ghost writers and dollar signs in their eyes decided that THEY were better than US and US needed help to get up in the morning. How condescending is that?

Maybe I am extremely arrogant or too sure of myself.. Those are possibilities. But slug on, and find out why the following SHB titles deter me from reading any further. For better skimming of my words, use both eyes. I said both eyes, you Yotz.

Your Sexual Self: How You Can Bring Desire Back Into Your Life
I’ll tell you how: Lose some weight, and put your fat slob of a husband on the treadmill. Quit bombarding your system with pills (vitamins are allowed). Read some Harlequin and ship out the kids for the weekend.

Women and Self-Esteem: Understanding and Improving the Way We Think and Feel About Ourselves
Some women think they are God’s gift to humankind. Others think they should hide in the pantry because of that stupid mole on their left earlobe. Both are right and wrong. I’m a genius.

Simple Steps to Emotional Healing: The Last Self-Help Book You Will Ever Need
Enough with the steps. Steps are so AA.

Last Self-Help Book You’ll Ever Need: Repress Your Anger, Think Negatively, Be a Good Blamer, and Throttle Your Inner Child
Ok, this one I’ve got to read, because the author agrees with me.

Surviving the Death of Your Spouse: A Step-By-Step Workbook
Did someone say ‘Workbook’? Heavens. The Salvation Army gets the clothes. Son gets the medals. Girl gets the $ so she can buy lots of SHBs. You get to moan about it all for a few months, then get over it and go play Bingo. All done.

What’s It Like Being You?: Living Life as Your True Self!
But I like my internet persona!

That’s all, folks. Don’t forget to floss. Here’s how to:âÂ?¦

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