Why Do We Care so Much About the Brangelina Baby?

Enter “Brangilina baby” into the Google search box and hit ‘Enter’, and you’ll get a few million results. The older results discuss news of Brad Pitt’s and Angelina Jolie’s baby, what sex it may be, and what possible names they might be choosing. The new results detail news of the baby’s birth, it’s name, and where you might soon be able to find pictures of the world’s current most famous baby.

My question is why? Why are pictures of Brangelina’s baby so important to so many people? Why will the tabloid stands be swarming with throngs of people eager to get a glimpse of the supposed darling child, and why are the tabloids paying so much for the exclusive rights to the photos? And why is Brangelina willing to auction off those rights?

More importantly, why is so much attention and effort being focused on the subject of a simple child of stardom when we cannot even produce the effort to speak or write the full names of those stars, resorting instead to an annoying nickname combination that makes you grind your teeth with each successive pronouncement?

And why do reputable, professional newspapers also try to capture their share of the buzz and overrated hype surrounding such topics, placing candid shots of celebrities on their front pages and tossing real news aside?

These questions and more float through my head as I read the headlines today, in which I am informed that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have announced that they intend to distribute photos of baby Shiloh to various forms of media, with all proceeds going to charitable organizations.

I salute Pitt and Jolie for the decision to turn over the vast amount of money that they will surely receive to charity, whereas many others would likely keep it for themselves.

But the question still remains: Why are pictures of baby Shiloh worth so much money? The obvious answer is, of course, that consumers are obsessed with Hollywood celebrity gossip and all things related, and are compelled by forces beyond their control to read, study and discuss all the intimate details of Hollywood celebrities.

Apparently, celebrities have reached such a state of importance that the very contents of a celebrity’s casual lunch must be broadcast to the world, along with his or hers current weight fluctuations and daily shopping excursions.

I struggle and despair with the notion that the meager details of a celebrity’s personal life have overshadowed the major details of our own lives. But back to this baby picture thing.

I understand the concept of baby pictures. You are going to want hundreds, if not thousands, of pictures of your new baby, or even your new cat or dog, and the advent of digital cameras makes taking such vast quantities of pictures much more feasible. You will likely take enjoyment in each and every picture, savoring them throughout the many years of your child’s life.

But be honest. While you have no problem perusing endless slideshows of your own children, you tend to grow quite bored and disinterested when the pictures are of children not of your own loins. When a neighbor, co-worker, friend or distant relative approaches with photo album in hand, you cringe inwardly, forced to smile politely and make endearing remarks as each page of photos is slowly turned.

So if we, as a society, cannot stand to be subjected to even ten minutes of torment inflicted upon us by another set of proud parents and their baby pictures in tow, why are we so willing to shell out money to pay for pictures of celebrities’ children? Are they not just normal babies, like everyone else’s children? Or does their parent’s celebrity status impart them with some unearthly glow, compelling us to look deep into the light and worship the ground that their cute little feet have not yet even trod upon?

I congratulate Pitt and Jolie on baby Shiloh, and their decision to use the funds garnered from the photos for charity. But please, no pictures for me, I’m really not that interested. And if I should ever meet either one of them, I promise not to bother them with pictures of my children either.

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