Are you expecting your second child? Well most moms who already have one child and who are anxiously expecting their second are very concerned about how their oldest child will feel once this new baby arrives. As a mother you want to ensure your older child that your relationship will remain the same. But what you do not want to tell them is that nothing will change and that everything will stay the same. This just is not true, you will have considerably less time to spend with the oldest child, at least for the first month. What worked best for me and a few other mothers that I know is explaining to your child what exactly will be happening when the baby first gets here. Explain to them that mommy and baby will need to rest when they come home from the hospital. This way they will not be expecting to play with the baby as soon as you walk in the front door.
There are several things that you can do to make sure that your older child is cared for, and that they participate in helping with the new baby. By involving your older child in helping out they begin to feel more like the big brother or big sister. One thing that you want to make sure that you do is have a relative there to help keep the older sibling busy. Also if you are considering breastfeeding you may want to think about purchasing a breast pump. This will allow the older sibling to help out at feeding time. They will be so excited to be able to feed the baby, and it will help them to bond with their new brother or sister as well. They can even help out by getting the babies clothes when it is time to get them dressed, or even something as simple as getting the bath robe or towel after the bath.
Including them in your everyday activity will make them feel like part of the family and not like an outsider. Leave no room for a child to become jealous. When an older child becomes jealous it is usually because they are not getting the attention that they need or deserve. Make sure that you set aside a few hours each day where someone can care for the baby and you can spend some personal time with your older child. Ask them to tell you about what they did earlier while you were feeding the baby or play some games. This will show them that you still love and care for them, as much as you did before, and having a new baby in the family is a good thing not a bad thing.
This is a very exciting time for a family, and it can be enjoyable for everyone, as long as you take some of the steps that are mentioned above. You know your child best, so you will be able to tell if there is any change is behavior that may be a little unusual for your oldest child. One sure way that you can tell that a child is beginning to get a little jealous is that they may begin to act out. Tantrums may begin, and they may no longer be the cute and nice little boy or girl they once were. When and if this begins to happen to your child the one thing that you do not want to do is become upset and start punishing your child. Of course you do not want to condone this type of behavior, but sit down and take the time to find out why they are misbehaving. You may be surprised at what they tell you. Most of the time parents do not even realize that the other child is feeling a little left out. Just think about it for a minute, there are visitors coming to see the baby, and most of the time these visitors are bringing gifts for the baby.
Your baby shower is another thing that you may want to take into consideration. Most moms to be have their baby shower before the baby comes. If someone is going to throw you a shower you will want to let them know that your oldest child should be included. If you are not sure if someone is going to throw you a party or not and maybe they are going to surprise you, then you will want to let your husband know, or your best friend. More than likely they will be in on the planning, and they will probably already be including your oldest child, but you will want to just remind them anyway. For example at my second baby shower, the host made sure that she purchased a few extra gifts for my oldest child so that he would not feel left out. It worked out really well; he enjoyed himself and was so excited to get his gifts. Just remember you want both of your children to feel wanted and needed, right now your oldest is the one that will need the most support. By applying a few of these tips you can help to avoid jealousy when the new baby arrives.