Simple Tips to Helping a Marriage Grow Stronger
Any relationship can use some fine tuning. Here are some very easy and basic things many couples let fall by the wayside. Using these tips on a daily basis can greatly enrich any relationship.
1: Be considerate. Too many marriages lack this basic element. Just because you have an emotional commitment, doesn’t mean manners and consideration should be forgotten. Pick up after yourself, say please and thank you, and don’t take each other for granted.
2: Touch, hug and show affection daily. A brief pat, a quick kiss, a moment in a busy day for a hug, can begin to put affection and intimacy back into your lives. Tuck a brief note of love in a pocket or purse. Make a brief I love you call.
3: Create humor and adventure in your intimate lives. Send the children off to a friends home for the evening. Take a shower or bath together, sit by the fire or simply hold each other. Make an assignation to meet at a hotel for the evening. Use CoolWhip or chocolate body paints. Making love should be a joy not a duty.
4: Sit down with your partner and decide on what destructive elements in your marriage need working on. Make this a joint effort. Even if it means practicing the judicious avoidance of interfering friends and relatives.
5: Let your spouse know what you appreciate about them. Whether it’s a talent for cooking or woodcrafting, thoughtfulness, whatever. Let them know you recognize their efforts. I routinely tell Dave how much I love and appreciate him for all his hard work on our behalf. How proud I am of his continuing education and commitment to expanding his knowledge.
6: Keep yourself clean and attractive for your partner. This is one area in many marriages that really needs improvement. Being comfortable with someone doesn’t mean not caring what you look like.
7: Honor the privacy of your relationship. What goes on between the two of you needs to stay there. Sharing the blow by blow details of fights or your spouses behavior in the bedroom is really damaging. If you have issues with your spouse, address them with him/her. Unless counselling is needed, changes won’t be made by publishing your version of a marital newsletter.
8: Share child rearing chores. This is not just a woman’s job. It takes two to make a child. Don’t expect a wife and mother to work with kids all day, care for your home and then be up for passionate lovemaking every night.
9: Leave the word divorce out of your disagreements. It can become it’s own self fulfilling prophecy.
10: Never assume anything. Your spouse can’t read your mind. If you make a decision on something important, take the time to be certain your partner understands clearly what this means.
Keeping a marriage strong and nurturing means always respecting the fact your partner has his/her own needs. Those needs don’t need to be seen as threatening or exclusive. The little things, the quick hugs, I love you’s and notes dropped in briefcases all can let you both know how much you care.
